


You're Still The Most Beautiful Thing To Me

by actualtrashcan



Series: Phan One-Shots [3]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Car accident reference, Dan's gone, Depression, Drunk driver reference, Established Relationship, Hurt, I am a disgrace to the phandom for this, Literally uber sad, M/M, Major Character death referenced, This is the saddest thing I've ever written, Very slight strong language, crafting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 21:46:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8940613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/actualtrashcan/pseuds/actualtrashcan
Summary: It's been about a month since it happened, yet Phil swears and knows he'll never be okay again.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Prepare yourself for some hard core crafting, ladies and gents. :V

Dan was sitting in Phil's lap, seated on the sofa in the lounge. "You know," Phil started. "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Not even the most beautiful person, just thing in general." 

Dan felt a blush creep across his cheeks and he smiled. Burying his head in the nook of Phil's shoulder and neck, Phil felt Dan grin against him.  
"I love you so much, Phil. Why must you be so perfect? It makes it horribly hard to try and describe you," Dan whined, giggling softly. 

 

But then the giggle began to fade away. Slowly, and then like his mind had became a vacuum, the memory got sucked out of his mind all at once. And then Phil was back in reality.  
He was back at this field, with the grey clouds above. With a tombstone reading "Daniel James Howell" in front of him. Phil didn't know how long he had spaced out for, but judging by the amount of mud on his jeans, quite a while. Tears were dried on his face.

"Dan.." Phil whispered to the stone. There were piles of roses on the grave, so much so that you could easily mistake it for a garden bed. That was all thanks to Phil.  
"You weren't supposed to die before me, damnit. T-The family we wanted, the forever we had.. Dan.. please come back." Phil pleaded, his eyes drooping and tracing over the engraving of Dan's name on the stone.

Under this dirt and soil lay the love of his life. His best friend, his everything. His world and universe. Phil's blood boiled at the thought of the drunk driver being able to still live, despite Dan being gone. That asshole's family didn't need to mourn. And Phil was just dying over here. But at least if he died here, he'd die somewhat with Dan.

"Today was equally as bad, Dan." Phil continued. "It's been a month but I can hardly keep track of the days. I'm never going to buy another calendar again, either. Even after the new year.. because you always marked cute notes and doodles on the calendar to make me smile. I still look at those until I pass out, darling." 

"All of your clothes are still where they were. I want so badly to wear them. To smell your cologne one last time, but I can't bring myself to spray any of it. Because eventually the bottle will run out and.. and then I'll have to buy another, but you won't have ever touched that bottle. And if I wear your clothes, well.. they'll never smell like you again. Dan.. Why'd you have to go?" 

Tears poured out of Phil's eyes now. "But don't worry, darling. I promise I'll never love anybody else. You're my one and only. I can't possible love anybody else after loving you. Nobody compares to you, Dan. I don't want anybody to, either. I just want one last hug. One last kiss goodbye or kiss good morning.. I just want to see you instead of photos, videos, or a stone slab. God help me.." Phil was bawling now, cries and squeals coming all at once as his breathing quickened and he shut his eyes tightly. 

"I miss you, Dan. You're still the most beautiful thing to me, I promise you always will be. You put all of these roses to shame with your beauty. I love you so much. I hope you always remember that." With that, Phil leaned his tear and snot stained face forward, kissing over Dan's name softly, closing his eyes and hating how cold the stone was compared to how warm Dan's lips always were. Phil stood up and huffed out a sigh before wiping his face off quickly.

"I'll be back tomorrow, Dan. I love you. Forever."

**Author's Note:**

> WHO DOESN'T WANT SOME SAD PHANFICTION UNDER THEIR CHRISTMAS TREE?  
> No but really oh my god I'm so sorry ; - ; I wrote this one on a whim at 3am and I was crafting while I wrote it. Originally, Phil was going to be the one gone but then I figured Dan being gone would make it all the more sad. Not our precious smol bean ;o;  
> Anyways this might be the last fanfiction I post before Christmas, so I just wanna give a final little happy holidays and merry Christmas to you all, thanks to everybody who has read my writing and I really hope you have a great new year ;u; here's to another year of the phandom~♥


End file.
